Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there...Have a beautiful day!...Expectations....



Could this Yellow Candle flower be more exquisite with its white blooms?
Special days such as Mother's Day and Father's Day can easily result in high expectations.  Will the kids call?  Did they send a card or greeting?  Will they show for a hug and expression of love?  Will the Dad of the young ones make an effort to make them aware of this special day for Mom and, vise versa for Dad on Father's Day?

We all make the assumption that most moms are anxiously waiting at home to be honored on this special day when for some, the day becomes sorrowful and disappointing.  Then again, some moms have an expectation that the husband, partner or significant other will create a degree of hoopla only to disappointed as the day wears on, that no such event or celebration will occur.  I do not have that expectation.

Today, as a mom of two sons and stepmom to a son and daughter all in their 40's I have no expectations.  We left. We left behind the circle of life and in doing so, perhaps all of those expectations were left behind. 

A single plumeria bloom.
We said we expected nor wanted cards or gifts and not to worry about birthdays and holidays. None of that is necessary to knowing we are loved.  Its all OK.  (We continue to send gifts to our grandchildren on birthdays and holidays and acknowledge all of our children and significant others on their special days).

We chose this life.  They did not.  In their perfect world we'd have been those available doting grandparents.  But, we chose a different path for these years of our lives after my decades of ill health.  Do it while we can.  Life is short.  We'll see them again in the future.  We are not lost forever.

Regrets?  None.

Do days like today make me sad?  No, not at all.  But, I do think of them a little more today than yesterday.  They are truly loved, all of them, and will always be loved.
A miniature daisy?
Tom and I both became parents in our teens.  At such an early age, we had responsibilities resulting in few worldly experiences in our 20's other than attempting to live up to those responsibilities.  We were young.  It wasn't easy.  We did our best. 

In reality, these facts brought Tom and I together.  We had the commonality of being such young parents, working too much and maybe had our priorities mixed up...work...provide...work...provide. 

As a single mom for many years after an early divorce, I did what I thought was right at the time. I was present and then again, I wasn't. I was so wrapped up in surviving, let alone "making it" as a single parent that at times, I fell short.  Tom expresses a similar sentiment.


Luscious hot pink blossoms.
We seldom traveled (one vacation in 20 years) due to my health and we lived a life of expectations that somehow could never be fulfilled.  As we aged, the expectations continue to grow...out of reach...perhaps unrealistic.

Still under the weather today, I'm reminded of how fragile our lives really are.  One bad illness, surgery or injury and it all could be over, possibly for good.  We could be forced to settle somewhere, living a life of doctor appointments, dealing with insurance, medications and medical care.

As much as we may try to avoid that possibility, I have to face the facts that I'll be 70 in a few years and for many this is when ill health begins (or sooner for some).  No matter what measures one may take to stay healthy, we still can fall prey to an unexpected illness.


Plumeria trees are on a blooming frenzy now that spring is here.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a bit concerned that I haven't yet "turned the corner" after almost 48 hours on antibiotics.  Our cruise departs two weeks from today.  If I'm not on the mend by tomorrow, I'll have no choice but to call for a different course of antibiotics which of course, I despise taking.  Without them, it would only get worse.

Today, we continue to hunker down while I rest, drinking tons of water, hoping that at any moment, I'll discover that the pain is gone and I'm on the mend.  This, dear readers, will be cause for celebration on this day or the next.

Again, we wish all of our mom readers a Happy Mother Day by lightening up on the expectations and living another fine day filled with love.  I know I will.
_____________________________________

Photo from one year ago today, May 10, 2014:

Near the entrance to the Medina in Marrakech, we stopped at the ATM.  For details as to why we wrote about "sexist steak portions," please click here.

2 comments:

Amit said...

I just started reading this blog recently and have been reading it from the beginning. You left the circle of life that you knew to see the "Circle of Life" in nature with real life _Lion King_ characters. You even got to use "Hakuna Matata" in conversation. Amit

Jessica said...

Amit, how nice of you to write and we appreciate your meaningful comments. Its funny but even here in Fiji, the locals know "hakuna matata" from Lion King! Here, like in Australia, they say "no worries" instead of "you're welcome." Very sweet.

Have a Happy New Year!

Warmest regards,
Jess & Tom

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